Awards Eligibility 2024, V.M. Ayala

graphic design is my passion

Every year, I get anxiety about posting awards eligibility. Okay, well, this is only year two of publication, so it has been two whole years where this has happened—but I feel like it will be a continued trend.

Here are my two new, original publications this year. Again, screaming in panic and dread at posting this, but if you find yourself reading either story, please know it is deeply appreciated.

And the unintentional theme this year is neurodivergent communication!

“Sending Signals” - flash fiction in Translunar Travelers Lounge Issue 10 (February 2024)

I receive a message as I initiate deactivation protocols. Deactivating takes many years. My systems, my three rings, are not designed to terminate easily as we wander through the cosmos. Despite the redundant process, it is part of my core program: if the worst comes to pass, wait for someone to reactivate me, to help, to rebuild, to wait ten thousand years should that not happen, to end functions after the allotted time if no one ever comes.

Unfortunately, there is no one organic left to find me. But core programming is core programming, and I am nearly finished.

That is when I hear the old distress signal.

There’s something about this little piece that always brings me joy. I love my Dyson sphere and ringworld, just adrift in the cosmos. As a deeply neurodivergent person, friendships and just existing next to someone, getting to experience things with them, is a very magical thing.

“On Lunar Magic and Gryphons: Sofia’s Edition” - short story in Flame Tree’s Moon Falling anthology

“Anyone can use magic? I yelled, slamming the book shut. “How come we’re not taught this? There’s some basic lunar warmth spells that would be useful with agriculture and…” I sighed. “I suppose that’s the point, to control information.”

Yes, and I’d like to change that. Vespri opened one eye. Are you willing to learn?

I spent two months studying the beginning of the book. Vespri wouldn’t let me jump ahead after my initial fascinated skim of its contents. Any time I tried, his text would appear over the book, simply repeating no over and over until I huffed and flipped back to the beginning pages

This story is about Sofia and the lunar gryphon Vespri and how the two of them want to change how things are done, and help teach others how to use magic and believe in themselves more. It came out of a point in time for me where I felt I wasn’t good enough at anything fast enough, and realized I was being harsh on myself for no good reason. If anything, I was trying to force myself into a mold that never, ever would’ve suited me. That’s the heart of this story. It’s good to remember when the perfectionism kicks in.

I almost didn’t post this year, since so many amazing peers have 3-12+ stories or novels or novellas out. What am I, compared to that? But then I re-read my lunar gryphon story and was reminded that comparing like that is bad, and I don’t have to be wildly outstanding to matter, or for my words to have value. So here we are, and I’m oddly emotional at the reminder from past me through that story.

If you’ve read any of my work? Thank you, it really means a lot to have my work published—and now in print! What a dream goal.